intro⌗

We waste things. Resources, time, head space, you name it and we as people waste it. Try to visualize the planet’s state in 50 years and you’ll realize that we are built to waste things, it is so powerful that it trespasses our most basic instinct to survive.

Much of the resources we use can be optimized but we simply don’t know how to optimize our usage of them. We consult people who aren’t interested, who aren’t in the same position or environment and hope that we could overcome our laziness.

Stop right there. No, no, NO. There is no optimal way to do things. That’s not how you start. You see by thinking you are worth a king’s ransom, believing that there are people who want what is the best for you, you believe that you are the king and that just undos your progress.

In this article, I’ll try to dissect our human tendency to consult and not look within, why it happens, why it’s bad (for most occasions) and it’s antidote.

consulting other people: what and why⌗

Consulting is basically asking for another person or people’s opinion and following their opinion.

I maintain that the reason we ask other people what they think is because of validation. We don’t feel secure within ourselves to go on about what we think is right, so we seek other people’s opinions, follow them and then feel less bad for our failures.

Essentially, we use other people most of the time as scape goats. That way it is never our full fault, they share a piece of the blame too.

What we tend to forget in those days is that other people are messed up too. Other people have their own life to go through, they have to manage their health, family and pay their bills. Damn it, everyone is fighting too.

By asking for other people’s advice, you distract them from their own life troubles and they feel they have helped another person, so they feel good about it. That’s partly why everyone gives advice, it is a feel good sensation. I distract you, you distract me, we both win.

distraction is bad⌗

Distraction rarely helps a person get through their issues. Until you face your issues directly, you won’t feel any sense of progress and that’s good, it makes us accountable and responsible.

Part of why taking and giving advice is bad, other than the distraction part, is that most people do not care about you. Scratch that, not most people but almost everyone does not care about you.

Not that they hate you but they just don’t care that much. They have their own shit to deal with and cannot spare another moment at your expense.

Time is loose. Think about how many times you’ve thought: “Wow, time flies fast.” - it is almost everytime. Conversely, think about the opposite, how many times do you think: “Oof, time really is slow” - almost never.

antidote to optimal way thinking⌗

The best thing to do for other people is not to come to their aid. Instead, think about them deeply. Try to immerse yourself in their situation and really evaluate whether they need help or not.

Sometimes, what people go through is extremely human and they don’t need another point of view, all they need is experience.

Before you indulge in a buttload of distractions, cause people frequently come back for more advice, evaluate whether you’d like to help that person. Adopting scarcity mindset when it comes to distractions helps you avoid indulgunes.

professional way⌗

There is a mutation on optimal way that I personally call the professional way.

The professional way, to me, is your way of doing something you deem yourself good at it. For example, the way you write an article, you are not optimal at writing an article, but you do it professionally, with your own process and space of mind. It has a piece of you in its process.

This mindset helps to mitigate the prefectionism that occurs whenever you look for the optimal way of doing something.

Because professionalism indicates that you are good but never the best. You can still improve and probably will. You seek other means of inspiration besies your ego and you’re on a journey of honing your craft.

It is far more pleasurable to have an adventure to go through something(professional way) than not going through it at all because you are afraid you won’t do it right(optimal way).